Silence
by Cereal-Killa
Summary: Silence has hurt her. Silence has pained her. Maybe it's about time that she spoke up. Gwen. Implied D/G, D/C. Kinda hardcore. Implied rape, abuse.


**S I L E N C E**

_Silence has hurt her. Silence has pained her. Maybe it's about time that she spoke up._

**Help me please someone anyone PLEASE he's hurting me it hurts PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE**

Gwen shook in the corner of the room. Maybe it was too late. She wouldn't look at him. She watched as his face turned to stone, hard stone. He approached her, and she felt herself begin to twitch, her eyes suddenly getting dry, no surprise there. She always cried before it happened. She always did, the silent tears rolling her face.

Duncan was in a bad mood, she could tell. His eyes were foggy, the strong scent of alcohol wafting off him. The first time he came home drunk, Gwen didn't know what to say to him. So she said nothing. She stayed silent. She had stayed silent every single time since... it happened.

Somehow, Gwen found herself living with Duncan fifteen years after they had first gotten together. Somehow, she had still found herself so happy after betraying a friend. She had left high school feeling light on her feet, free. It had only lasted so long.

Duncan came closer, slurring his words, like a car with a sputtering engine. "So I'm at work when again, this bitch says I'm falling behind in sales. Women don't know anything." He came closer, cupped her cheek in his hands, his eyes going soft. "You understand that, don't you babe?"

Sometimes she forgot. Sometimes she would speak. Times like now were the times she believed he was good. These were the times that hope would shimmer in her heart and she savored those small moments. "Yeah," She said, smiling at him. Wrong move.

Duncan's eyes went from soft to a snarl. His grip on her cheek got tighter, as she tried to pull away. "Did I tell you to speak?" He then backed up from her, but she knew it was coming. His cold hand met her jaw, her body flailing to the floor. He then held her to him, kissing her furiously.

Nothing seemed real anymore. His whole demeanor had changed, or maybe it had always been this way. Somehow, she had tricked herself into thinking this was a man she loved, a man she could deal with. And from what she could see, there was no way out.

There was no way out but to hang her head down as he walked away, and not utter another word. She sat and cried, but didn't dare make a sound. She had nothing but the silence to hold her, nothing but the silence knew she was there. But for too long it had seemed that no one cared what she said. So maybe it was better that she just shut up.

_-Silence-_

If there was one thing that hurt Gwen more than his hand, it was that day when Courtney showed up at her door.

Gwen could remember in high school, she could vision Courtney's crumpled frown as her tears spilled down her face. She could remember people gathering around Courtney, comforting her, but if Gwen tried to say sorry, they snapped at her. Even Bridgette, Gwen's best friend, had shook her head. "**Jerk**_."_

When she opened the door now, even though she knew it was Courtney, she couldn't believe it. Her face was bright and vibrant, her eyes prideful and beautiful as they had once been. She was nicely dressed, clean, smelled of fresh fruit and stain remover. She was the most beautiful thing Gwen had ever seen.

**Pretty pretty Nothing like me Where are her scars**

Courtney apparently didn't recognize her, why would she? Gwen had gotten rid of the teal highlights and went with black a long time before. She started talking, as Courtney loved to do, and went on happily about her new shop. "It's a little bakery, and it's so nice. It's a family owned business, new to town, of course, but we could always use a good customer like you." She smiled at Gwen, so brightly that Gwen was sure Courtney had never cried before.

Courtney said her goodbyes, and Gwen waved at her, her face blank. Gwen had to wonder how someone like that could have ever taken Duncan's sharp hands on her cheeks. She had to wonder how she had healed from that. Gwen had always believed she never had. She had always believed Courtney would be as pathetic as she was all those years ago.

It hurt, of course, because Courtney was beautiful. Gwen was sure she looked like a big pile of shit.

_-Silence-_

Gwen took the small packet Courtney had given her. On it was a picture of Courtney and some other people dressed in aprons with a bunch of baked goods around them, all of them looking happy, all of them looking rich and sweet and friendly. But Gwen always stared at Courtney.

Her face was captured in the picture as though this was how she always looked. She had a few wrinkles above her brow, and her smile was a bit crooked, and some of her hair was loose from her pony tail. But Gwen was sure this was the loveliest person she had ever seen.

**Wow**

She hid it under the mattress that Duncan would push her on and never listen to her when she whimpered and whispered for him to please, please stop, he was hurting her. Every time he stole her away and hit her and kissed with that emptiness that broke her heart, she would wait until he fell asleep and would dig underneath the corner of the bed and look at Courtney and cry tears of joy that someone knew what this felt like.

-_Silence-_

Courtney came around again, everyday, handing out more flyer, samples, and things like that. Each time Gwen saw her, she was charmed by her beauty, hurt by her smile, jealous of her sweet demeanor. She was so jealous of Courtney that one day she almost didn't answer the door. Almost. But she did anyways, just to see her, to make sure she wasn't really make-believe.

Then came the nightmare.

The doorbell rang at the same time it always did when she came, Gwen came down the hall to answer like always, but something was different this time.

Because as Gwen looked out the window, she didn't see Courtney's smiling face staring back at her as usual. This time, she saw Courtney's face full of shock and bewilderment, facing away from Gwen. Gwen stared to where Courtney was looking and almost died inside.

This time, Duncan was walking up the driveway. And he was looking straight at Courtney.

-_Silence-_

**No, no, no, no, not while she's here.**

_-Silence-_

Duncan came up the driveway and had a big frown on his face. As they approached each other, Gwen watch them quietly. They both were in the shape of a circle, like two old rivals who were ready to kill each other.

Courtney's eyes were suddenly steely, her stance more threatening, her face twisted with an emotion. Duncan's eyes were red (at least more than usual), he was chewing his lip, and his eyes looked younger, as though he had just went 15 years back to when he was still with her.

"Princess? Haven't seen you in years." Gwen saw Courtney's eyes widen in surprised at the soft texture at his voice. Gwen shook with a chill. He always got soft before he would hurt you. "How have you been doing?"

"What are you doing here?" Courtney hissed. Gwen then wondered how they had recognized each other in the first place. Duncan had gotten rid of the Mohawk, but she guessed that maybe there are some people you can't forget. Even if that's all you really want to do.

Duncan licked his lips. "This is my property." He seethed, this time slurring a bit. "I should be asking you what the fuck you're doing here." Gwen almost screamed. She knew it was coming. He was gonna hit her, and she would never come back to the house again.

**No, no, no, no, please god no-**

But Duncan did no such thing. Courtney stared at him, her nose flaring in disgust. "You've been drinking. You look like shit. Duncan…" She shook her head, and for a moment Gwen saw the old Courtney back in there, the one who was just 17, who was just getting to know him. "What happened to you?"

Duncan's face twisted with anger. "I'm perfectly fine." He stared at her, his eyes slow, like he couldn't move them as fast as he wanted to. _Or because he was checking her out. _Gwen wouldn't doubt it.

Courtney bit her lip. "What happened to Gwen?" So she really hadn't recognized her.

Duncan raised an eyebrow. "She's here. Still here." He opened the door with his key. Gwen backed up a bit but wasn't prepared for what happened next.

The door opened wide and for the first time in she didn't know how long, Duncan smiled at her brightly. "Hey sweetie," he cooed, coming over and putting an arm around her shoulder, which caused her to flinch. She didn't understand. Why was he acting so nice?

Courtney's whole face seemed to look over everything quizzically. She turned to Gwen and spoke. "I didn't even know that was you!" She smiled, coming over to shake her hand. Gwen's whole face was blank, her eyes wide. Courtney laughed weakly. "I guess it's been too long." She then did something odd- she hugged Gwen.

Gwen felt more love in the hug than she had felt in forever. Courtney's whole smell wrapped around her. All she could think was

**save me save me save me save me please help please please please**

But then Courtney let go.

And she headed towards the door. "Well," she said quietly, "It was nice to see you all."

Gwen prayed that Courtney would see the handprints on Gwen's face, the bruises on her thighs from him forcing himself inside her, please please see it Courtney. She wanted her to see that Duncan hadn't just drank a little, he was smashed. He just knew how to contain himself in times like these. She wanted her to remember, REMEMBER HOW HE USED TO HIT YOU COURTNEY?

Remember.

Please, please.

But Courtney gave her a wave, one wave.

And then she shut the door.

**Please**

_-Silence-_

Gwen felt the silence engulf her as he pushed her on the couch. "No, no, please, Duncan, don't-"

"Shut up!" He yelled, lifting up her skirt while trying to undo his belt at the same time. "She shows up and suddenly you act like this doesn't happen all the time."

"I-" He hit her again, this time grabbing her arm and pinning it up against the wall. "You're hurting me." She said, but then he just kissed her so hard it hurt.

He didn't listen, he never listens, never never fucking listens, she felt herself go limp, let him do what he wanted, felt herself screaming

**god why can't I just die, die, die, engulfed in the silence, dying due to silence, living in silence, hiding in silence, silence, silence, silence, silence-**

She heard the door open. "Sorry, I forgot my purse-" Courtney screamed. "Get off of her!"

It was like the end of a play, you can quit acting now, Gwen, your safe it's OK.

Gwen started crying.

**Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you**

And slowly she let herself go.

_-Silence-_

When Gwen woke up, she was sure she must have had a dream. Everything was really bright, really white… It was pretty. She couldn't see anything but she could feel something moving softly against her hand. Caressing it like she was something precious. She hadn't felt anything like that in a long time.

"Gwen? Are you there?" The softness against her hand disappeared. Things started beeping. "Check her pressure, is she breathing correctly, call in her doctor, hurry, hurry."

She opened her eyes fully and saw a lot of unfamiliar faces. "Hi, Gwen." One of them waved at her, while another was pointing a needle in her arm. "How are you feeling?"

Gwen couldn't feel much. She felt stiff. "Who the fuck are you?" The lady frowned at her, but Gwen just kept turning her head around, curiosity all over her face. "Where's Courtney?"

The lady called for Courtney, who walked over quickly. Gwen smiled at her. "Courtney, Courtney, thank you, thank you…" She felt tears in her eyes. "Where is he?"

Courtney shook her head at Gwen. "He's not here." She smiled at Gwen as the doctors back away from her. "You're safe, alright? It's alright." Courtney's eyes went soft.

The doctors gave them a moment.

**Courtney you saved me you saved me**

Courtney sat in the chair by Gwen's hospital bed. "How did you get all those bruises on you Gwen?" Her eyes were rigid. She looked at Gwen with her hands scratching her head. "I'm sorry to be so blunt, but… Duncan did that to you?"

Gwen nodded. Courtney looked to the floor, her eyes questioning. "The bruises on your thighs, your hips, your face, your-" She stopped in her sentence. "How long has this been going on?"

Gwen shrugged. "Long as I can think back to. When we first moved in together. He started losing his damn mind." She turned to Courtney, her face contoured into a smile. "I know I can get through this though, because you did."

Courtney snapped her head up at Gwen. "What do you mean?"

Gwen chewed her lip, wondering why Courtney couldn't take a hint in this situation. "You survived his hand. You look so beautiful, you're strong, you…" Courtney's face was in a questioning frown. "What?" Gwen said, her eyes going wide.

Courtney's lip started to tremble as she hugged Gwen tightly. Gwen squirmed in her grasp, growing scared. "What, Courtney, what?"

"Gwen," she said, parting from her, her hands on Gwen's shoulder, "Duncan never hit me. He never laid a hand on me."

**What**

**What**

**WHAT**

Silence. Gwen was quiet. She sat in the hospital bed with hard eyes, and before Courtney could speak, Gwen growled. She felt angry, pissed, she-

"I want to see him." Gwen said, words she never thought she would speak again. "I want to see him."

_-Silence-_

**You motherfucking bastard**

She walked into the prison cell. It was a holding cell. He wouldn't get that long.

Courtney had set her up. She and Gwen had gone out shopping the other day, done a bunch, went to Courtney's bakery. Everyone was so friendly there. One of the guys hit on her. It was nice, to feel loved. She had gone to Courtney's for dinner, talked about old times, when they were friends. It was all so easy and familiar. How had she ever told herself her old life was better?

He was the only one there. He was sleeping, not toward her, facing the wall. She took the metal clip out of her hair that Courtney had given her and banged it against the cell bars. He grunted, cursing under his breath. "Fucking idiots." He mumbled.

**SPEAK**

"Get up you drunk fucking bastard." She felt the words tumble out of her mouth easily. They had been building up behind her lip for years.

Duncan turned his head to Gwen, frowning. "You bitch. You're the whole reason I'm in here. You're so ugly." He shook his head, holding in, probably due to his hangover. "God, you little fuck. You're so ugly, god-"

**Shut up I'm not going to be quiet**

"Who's ugly, Duncan?" She felt her nostril's flare, felt her eye's fill with angry tears she had been hiding forever. "You are so fucking full of it! You took everything out on me, thought you were strong or something, but you're not! I trusted you!" She screamed. She was yelling, her breath was coming out short, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. She had been quiet for too long.

He shook his head, chuckling at her, an evil laugh. "You think you're so tough." He stood up, walking over to her, standing so close to her through the cell she could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You're nothing, you know that? The best you ever did in life was let me fuck you, you ugly bitch." He laughed his ugly laugh, but then he went rigidly quiet.

Gwen had a gun. She pulled it out and smirked at him. "How did you get that in here-" She held it to his head. He didn't dare move or speak, just stared at her, sweating.

"You're so pathetic." She frowned, staring at him. "You were such a great guy, and then you let the drinking get you. You're weak. You're a pussy. You're nothing. You're just another guy. You hit me because you hate yourself." She licked her lips, letting the words come with her, fast as hell. "You're sad. You're afraid of dying, because you're selfish, because you're nothing. You think you're so great. You hit me."

**You're nothing**

She took the gun and smacked it against his head. He feel down, blood running down from his head. "You mean nothing to nobody. No one gives a shit about you, Duncan! No one cares about who you are anymore." He put a hand to his bloody hand, whimpering in self hatred. "Because you're nothing. There isn't anything inside you. You're empty."

She leaned down to his eye level. "And I feel sorry for you."

Duncan looked to her with sad eyes, hopeful eyes, but she turned away. "Hope you get to be someone's girlfriend in jail." She walked away. "Hell is only years away for you."

-_Silence-_

**Friends you helped me and now I'm strong I'm strong I can SPEAK**

She rode home with Courtney, who was helping her pack up her stuff to move to her new apartment. Courtney was quiet for a while. Gwen punched on the radio as an upbeat song came on, and she hummed the words. Courtney smiled at her. "Thought you might want things quiet for a minute."

Gwen shook her head at Courtney, smiling wide. "Trust me," Gwen said, feeling herself laugh for the longest time in who knows when. "Anything is better than silence."

A/N: -chills!-

Yay. Duncan FAILS!

Hope everyone liked that little bit of depression I decided to do. It was very cliché of me. I'm happy. Duncan got PWND!

Thanks for reading!


End file.
